What Now?

For the last year and a half, I have had a list of to do’s miles long. I have lived out of a suitcase. I have moved from place to place to place while simultaneously checking off the to do’s. In July when I arrived in Provence, there were just a few remaining steps on my journey although they were still big steps to take. I had to obtain my visa renewal; I had to get my french driving license and I had to confirm my long-term location and place to live.

As I sit here today, November the 9th, all those things are done. My visa renewed until 2029, my French driving license good until 2040 and I am unpacked and settled in a home that I love in Provence. When I awake in the morning with no immediate daunting administrative task to take on there is a mixed feeling of freedom and exhaustion. I thought that when I got to this point in time, I would likely get busy looking for a home to purchase and yet, I can’t seem to gather the energy. I have decided not to right now. My reasoning in multi-faceted.

First, after moving so much in the last year and a half the very last thing that I want to do right now is to move! Paolo and I were very glad to see the big suitcases go into the closet and stay there!

Second, I want to give myself more time here, to get to know this place better but also be a bit surer that over the long term that I will be happy living in a place that is this small. My village is a little more than 5,000 people and while yes, there are always lots of things going on. I am used to having anything within a few minutes away and living in a place large enough to afford everyone a certain degree of anonymity. While I have known from the beginning that I didn’t want to live in a big city, I know I also don’t want to feel very isolated either so for now I just live, enjoy life and continue to monitor how I feel.

Today, I feel like I often feel after a big launch of one of my corporate projects, a lovely sense of accomplishment, an acknowledgement of a job well done, a listening for the little tweaks that can make something better as it all stabilizes and at the same time a little bit of the budding yearning for “what now?” I know, for me as a soul, I thrive in change, I am always looking for ways to be better, but this can sometimes lead me to not taking the time to just settle and be with what is. I am in that place now, the daily back and forth of settling in while also asking what’s next?

I have projects that I want to do, a book to write, a couple of courses to put together, a mandala to paint, etc. but at the same time I am feeling a desire to just be, to sit on the terrace in the warm sun and be amazed by the comings and goings of the doves. To sit with the warm wintery smells of the neighboring houses as I smell their wood burners provide a daily waft that reminds me of a cozy fireplace and roasting marshmallows. I feel myself sinking into this time of deep reflection. Every year I take time during the month of December to review the year, to look at the plan that I had made for the year and note my accomplishments and the changes that I made along the way.

This year when I made my plan, I did so with a great deal of grace and room for change. I did that intentionally because when I made it I had been in France only 3 months, I had no idea how the year was going to go so for once I did not want to over commit myself. I wrote NO stretch goals for the first time ever. Simply being in France was going to be stretching enough. I didn’t write specific and measurable attainments for learning French or even writing this blog, the only thing that I wrote was that I would write and I would continue to learn French leaving the how very loose and subject to what energy I had to give to it.

I love the fact that I was gentle with myself in this process and as the year begins to wind down, it is certainly not like I am sitting here feeling like I didn’t accomplish enough au contraire! I am sitting here with the mile long list of things that I did get done and am grateful to spirit, to my guides and for every synchronistic thing that happened along the way that allowed the entire journey through the year to come together in the perfect way that it has.

Next month, I will focus on my plans for 2026 the adventures that I will take, where I want to be in life by the end of the year and what I will need to do in order for that eventuality to be accomplished while also applying zero pressure to do any of it on any given day if I don’t want to because well some days it is just way too lovely not to take a walk through the village, grab an espresso with friends and chat about whatever is happening on any given day in our little slice of paradise!

Here are a few questions for you to ponder in your favorite journal or on a walk in nature:

• How do you feel when you have accomplished a big goal or project?
• As you begin to contemplate the conclusion of 2025, what are your reflections?
• Are you happy with where you are today from where you started the year?
• Do you feel reflective during this time of year? Why?

If you enjoyed this blog post and would like it delivered to your inbox when it comes out, please subscribe. If you know someone who would enjoy this blog, I would appreciate it if you would share it. www.reneecantor.com/opt-in

I am now working with individuals coaching, mentoring and energetically helping to navigate them through significant changes in life. If you would like to work with me, you can find me at www.reneecantor.com.

I hope these words lift your spirit in some small way. I am also sharing a few photos of the spectacular colors and surprises in Provence.